Marriage Resources

Disclaimer: I am not saying I agree with each and every comment they made or advice they give.

After 3+ years of marriage, I began to realize there needs to be full intention. After being close to the verge of divorce last year, I began seeking things to not only help me, but also help strengthen our marriage. Here's a list of them:

Jeremy + Audrey Roloff

You may remember them from the TLC hit Little People Big World, where they got married on TV with the whole world watching. They are true and intentional with the lives as well as their marriage. They just had their first daughter. I wish they knew how much they have helped me. They have many ministries to help women see their true selves and to help marriages blossum.

Beating 50 Percent

Click here to see their own description of what beating 50 is. 

Marriage Journal

As a side thing attached to Beating 50 is their Marriage Journal. I have partnered with them to help marriages use this AMAZING tool to keep marriage #1. The just of the journal is weekly you sit down together and ask 6 questions then you discuss your family schedule for the week. Each month then you ask two additional questions.

1) What brought you joy this week?

2) What was something that was hard this week?

3) What's one specific thing I can do for you this week?

4) How can I pray for you this week?

5) Is there anything that's gone unsaid, convictions, confessions, unresolved hurt?

6? What's a dream, desire, or thought that's been on the forefront of your mind this week?

Then the additional questions once a month are:

1) How are we stewarding our finances?

2) How is our sex life?

Here is Auj's description of the journal.

This is so, so, so powerful. So many times, you hold your tongue about something and then something little your spouse does causes you blow up about 50 other things they have done the last month. It is also a safe place. If there is something from question 5 that needs said, you can have the discussion during the weekly meeting as a safe place and I LOVE that!

HERE is the link to purchase the journal.

Always More

I found this astounding when I first heard of it. Audrey based the verse Ephesians 3:20 as a life mantra. She has two ways of putting it. But I thought it was cool how she would write the words always more on her arm when she was running, on her wedding day, and while giving birth to her daughter. 

Life: 

"These words remind me that there is ALWAYS MORE to look forward to, MORE than meets the eye, MORE to someone’s story, MORE to be thankful for, MORE to give, MORE to unearth, MORE to learn, MORE fun to be had, MORE blessings to receive, MORE fruit to bear, MORE growth in faith, MORE peace to experience, MORE mercy to grant, MORE wisdom to gain, and MORE reason to love."

Marriage: 

"there are always MORE ways that I can serve you, MORE things that I can learn about you, MORE grace to grant you, MORE humility to have towards you, MORE support to offer you, MORE laughter to share with you, MORE children to give you, MORE adventure to seek with you, MORE passion to share with you, MORE faith to have in you, MORE places to go with you, MORE people to meet with you, MORE prayers to pray with you, MORE ways to worship with you, and MORE love to give to you.” 

I love BOTH of these!! I want to get this as a tattoo sometime (as many others have as well) because it can be used to help you through anything.

Behind the Scenes Podcast

I have found a love for podcasts, especially motivational ones. Ones that can help me or help my marriage. This podcast has been quite a blessing to listen to. There's a new one every Tuesday. They have discussed: marriage (they discussed the journal on one episode), goals, setting goals, being parents, why they left Little People, Big World, Always More, and so much more!!!! 

Here is the direct link to their podcast on iTunes.

Jer+Auj are writing their book The Love Letter Life and it will be out this year! I can't wait!!!!

Marriage 365

I found this as happenstance. They are believers in marriage. Most of their ministry is based on their Facebook page. They do a lot of live videos. They also post some fun challenges and encourages posts and pictures. I love their heart to see marriages work out.

They have also written books. They have an engaged couples and married couples edition. It is 365 questions to ask each other. There are categories or you can just open it up while driving on a road trip or eating dinner and ask random ones. Check them out!

Fierce Marriage

I think many people have heard of this couple. They have a pretty popular podcast where they talk about ANY marriage topic.

Marriage After God

Aaron and Jennifer Smith started this. They are advocates for Jer+Auj as Jer+Auj are for them. They have books and they have podcast. I believe they were the first ones I started following on Facebook. Aaron also mans Husband Revolution and Jenn mans Unveiled Wife which is also the title of the book that got all this started for them. I have ordered it from the library and can't wait to read it.

Please look into any of these resources for marriage or self growth. 

Money Maker?

I have paired up with a few companies about things I'm passionate about:

1) Fun with Dips
2) Sugar Shower
3) Friendship Collar

Fun with Dips

This is just what it sounds like--dips, bread dippers, seasonings, mixes, cheesecake mixes, etc.

A great business for the cook! Many people use the dip mixes for seasoning on meat or different varieties of cooking, not just for a dip.

To purchase Fun with Dips: CLICK HERE

Here's a few examples of items:

Our winter seasonal mixes have been released:

Sugar Shower LLC

Sugar Shower has a variety of bath products including: soap that looks like real food, lotions, body soap, body scrubs, sugar scrubs, bath bombs, lip balm, hair masks, face masks, and MORE!

Recently released their holiday seasonal products as well. 

To purchase from Sugar Shower, go to Sugar Shower, add your items to your cart, and use "britnyc" as a coupon code at checkout. This gets you a discount AND a free sample product!!!!

Here are some items available now:

Chocolate Bar Soap

Fruit Loops and Milk Soap

Lotion

Christmas Slime
not edible

Soap Donuts

Friendship Collar

For my doggie lovers!!! I am a dog lover myself so I thought this would be a perfect one! 

These are precious matching collar and bracelet combos. There are SO many options to choose from!

To order a Friendship Collar for you and your furry friend(s) CLICK HERE and enter BRITNYC as the coupon code!

Fur Mama Squared

Figured I should introduce you to my babies:

Penny Mae

Birthday: 3/3/2014

Breed: Beagle Mix

Size: 25 lbs

Quirks:

• Jumping
• Running
• Picky about food (except human food)

Loves:

• Squeakers
• Pizza Crust
• Balls
• Her Brother (sometimes)
• Giving kisses

Nicknames: Penny, Penn Penn, Mae, Bully (to her brother), Sugey, Sugey Mae, Mae Mae, Mayberry, My Shadow

Briar Lee

Birthday: 2/15/2018

Breed: Pug Mix

Size: 19 lbs

Quirks:

• Barking to wake us up
• Fast

Loves:

• Food
• Mama (me!)
• Bones
• His Sister

Nicknames: Bri Bri, BRIAR LEE!!! (yelled to get his attention), Boogey, Bubba, Bubs, Monkey

They really do love each other!!!!

Concerts as of July 2019

Country:

David Nail

1. Broomcorn
2. Bagelfest
3. Decatur Celebration
4. Decatur Celebration
5. Assembly Hall
6. 8 Seconds
7. City Center (M+G)
8. Indy State Fair

Chris Lane

1. Charleston
2. 8 Seconds (M+G)
3. Sweetcorn Fest
4. Rosemont

Dan + Shay

1. City Center (M+G)
2. St. Louis (Rascal Flatts)
3. State Farm Center
4. Rosemont
5. St. Louis (with FGL)
6. State Fair

FGL

1. With Luke
2. State Fair
3. Halloween (M+G)
4. Moline (M+G)
5. State Farm Center
6. Assembly Hall
7. With Jason Aldean
8. St. Louis

Yes this is them...playing with remote control cars when they opened for Luke Bryan

Luke Bryan

1. With Jason Aldean
2. Peoria w/FGL
3. Indy (VIP)

Steel Magnolia

1. Mahomet
2. Decatur

Justin Moore

1. Champaign Fair
2. State Farm Center

Jason Aldean

1. Assembly Hall
2. Peoria

Dustin Lynch:

1. FGL 
2. Champaign Fair

Chase Rice:

1. Justin Moore
2. Indy Fair

Dylan Scott:

1. Justin Moore Opener
2. 8 Seconds
3. Dustin Lynch Opener

Russell Dickerson:

1. Arthur-Mo Do Fair
2. 8 Seconds

Once:

Gretchen Wilson

Garth Brooks

Brantley Gilbert

Miranda Lambert

Dierks Bentley

Rascal Flatts

Carly Pierce

Parmalee

Lee Brice

Toby Keith

Randy Houser

Brad Paisley

Darius Rucker

Lady Antebellum

Kip Moore

Trace Adkins

Craig Morgan

Kellie Pickler

Kacey Musgraves

Tim McGraw

Faith Hill

Taylor Swift

Shania Twain

Eric Paslay

Eric Church

Lauren Alaina

Tyler Farr
Chris Young
Morgan Wallen
Jordan Davis
Eli Young Band

Lady Antebellum

Rock/Pop/Rap:

Metallica

Avenged Sevenfold

Daughtry

1. Assembly Hall
2. With 3 Doors Down

3 Doors Down

NF

Aaron Lewis

Nelly

Kelly Clarkson

Raven

Everlife

Christian:

Casting Crowns

1. Winter Jam
2. Assembly Hall
3. Effingham

Newsboys

1. Winter Jam
2. Big Church Night Out
3. Winter Jam

LeCrae

1. Bloomington (M+G)
2. Winter Jam

Basic Training Tips

Basic Training 101

This is mainly geared for people with spouses leaving for Army Basic/AIT. 

My name is Britny Chapman. I have been an Army Wife for 1 year and 10 months now. 5 months of those my husband was gone to his combined basic/AIT, also known as OSUT. I sort of ran a basic training FB page where I engaged the family members from my husband's unit in different questions weekly or daily. Just to try to let up some of the sadness we were ALL feeling.

Let's start with the never-ending acronyms of the military.

MOS- the soldier's job in the Army

AIT- training for their specific job

OSUT-one station unit training- completing all of basic and AIT at the same base.

BCT- basic/basic training

BAH-  support for rent/mortgage , is based off of ZIP code

CAC- soldier's military ID

DFAC- dining hall

DEERS- information portal of all spousal, dependent information

OPSEC- security portocal, basically what you can and can't put on social media, or make public

PCS- changing duty stations (or moving bases)

Now that we got that covered let's discuss things to do/know prior to your soldier leaving:

1. His/her social- you'll need to MEMORIZE that. That is your key to using Tricare, the military's insurance and just about everything else.
2. Their MOS or job in the military- this is so you can find FB groups or pages for your future soldier.
3. The obvious--which base they will be going to for training
4. Will they be going to different base for AIT or staying for OSUT?

Here's how the process went for my experience:

July 31- Hubby left from his RSP unit headed to St. Louis airport.

That night at about 8:30 I got a 7 SECOND phone call where he said "I have arrived at ___. I am safe. I will call when I can. Goodbye." There was NOOO time for me to say anything. So I just hung up and cried. I texted his momma and sister and told them he was there.

The next few days were HARD. After living with your husband and then he is "wisked" away for 5 months. It kinda freaks you out. 

August 5th I received my first letter from him. It was just a letter saying how much he missed me. Of course I cried.

August 8th was the day he called with his company, platoon, and address. Make sure to ask for the platoon! Because I had done research and knew between 2 companies he would be with, I already had most of the address written out. In 1 minute, he was able to tell me his whole address. I wasn't able to ask anything during that call unless he could respond "Yes" or "No" to it. I think our call was him just saying the address over and over again. 

Once they are out of reception and move into basic, they will probably not receive mail for 3 weeks or so. Do not be alarmed if you do not receive anything from them for about 4 weeks. The post office is getting used to the new company and getting everything switched and ready. Plus, this is the direct start of basic and they are training. 

I think about week 4, I found out on the Facebook group that their were platoons getting phone calls on Sundays. I believe my husband's platoon missed that Sunday call because they had done something wrong. That next week on Sunday I did receive a call and it was for about a minute. So basically a "Hi" and "Bye" conversation. But MUCH needed for both of us! From there he got his called pretty regularly on Sundays but did miss one other one. The call times varied from 1 minute then once they hit AIT it was up to about 30 minutes. One time the DS lost track of time and I think it was a 45-50 minute phone call. That was nice! They had an "off" day on Veteran's Day so we talked and texted all of that day as well. We were pretty blessed with lots of communication even if it was only once a week (besides letters of course).

We had a graduation date on August 8th. However, they did move his up a couple days so it wasn't so close to Christmas. I booked the hotel on August 8th but luckily I was able to change the date around when we found out the graduation date moved.

My husband was away for Thanksgiving. He did have his phone the whole day so we Facetimed, talked, and texted. 

He had Family Day the day before graduation where family could come take him out to eat and just hang out that day. We spent our family day in the barber shop waiting on a haircut for him haha. We also went and saw the new Star Wars movie a little ways away from the base. 

Graduation Day finally came and I finally got to bring my husband home!! 

My Tips:

• THE BIG ONE-My soldier only wrote mostly me. So what I did was send him a BUNCH of peel and stick envelopes with my address, his LONG address, and a stamp on them. I sent that in a "report card" size manila envelope. He got them with no problem. He would tell me when his supply was low and I'd send him more. I did about 30-50 at a time. We were able to write just about daily. I'd send out a letter each day on my lunch. My soldier said this helped him out greatly because he didn't have to write anything but the letter and press and send!
• WRITE! They need to hear from home and what's going on. It may seem weird to say just the simple things but it's worth it. A tip I always saw was "Never write bad things". It was hard to write "bad things" when all we thought about was missing each other.
• PHONES-The moment they are shipped out, never let your phone out of your sight. Sounds silly but it's so true. Your soldier may call needing additional paperwork like mine did. I had to email over a copy of our marriage license to the personnel at reception.
• RESEARCH- The moment my husband left I googled his base and searched for their graduation dates. At that point I was able to guess that he was either going to be in Delta or Echo Company. It turned out I was right, DELTA!
• WAIT- Approximately, 5 days after getting to reception I got my first letter UNADDRESSED from my husband. They can write while they are in reception just they will NOT have an address for you to send mail back yet. So just read the mail, write back, and keep the letter until you get their address. I kept about 6 days worth of mail until I got his address. Once they are accepted by a company you should be notified either by a phone call or a letter with their new address and where you will send mail for the remainder of basic training.
• PACKAGES- Each company and commander is different with how they accept packages and what they will and will not accept. The biggest package I sent my husband was I think just envelopes, an extra cell phone charger, ear buds, and he asked for me to send his razor blades. NO FOOD, NO CHEW, NO MAGAZINES! Many people in my husband's company were sending care packages of like shaving cream, lotion, band aids, laundry pods, etc. My husband told me not to bother because everything at the PX was way cheaper than me buying it and shipping it there. I did send pictures and I don't think there ever was an issue of him getting those either. 
• FACEBOOK- Check to see if his company has a FB Page. They will post live videos of the training they do. My husband was gone during Thanksgiving so they went around to all the tables with the soldiers eating their nice dinner. Most said hey to their family back home. It was pretty cool. My husband's company also had a private FB group we could join which was family (moms, dads, sisters, brothers, spouses, cousins, etc.) of the SAME company as your husband. So you could see if they were getting phone calls or which platoon wasn't and you could see when people got letters. Thank God for technology!
• USPS INFORMED DELIVERY- Sign up your address for Informed Delivery. Every morning you will get an email if you have any mail/packages coming to your house that day. It was helpful because I would run home on lunch if I had letters waiting on me :) 
• COUNTDOWN- I posted this tip on the Army Wives group and many said they hate counting down. I personally loved it. It showed me just how many days we had left. It was nice seeing when the "Days Left" jar had less than the "Days Down". I also loved when we had only 100 days left too. Here's the start of the jars I made: 

Any questions, just comment! :)

People Pleaser

I'm going to be honest today. I struggle with anxiety and I attended counseling.

The moment I mentioned that I stress about stressing ~haha~ my counselor decided to do an assessment on me. 

It was an assessment with about 100 questions. 

She would read them to me, then WITHOUT thinking, I needed to answer true or false to the statement.

At the end, she asked me if I noticed a pattern in my results.

I told her I noticed I felt strongly about:

1) Other people's opinions

2) Criticism

She said our goal what to find out WHY.

So I sit here today wondering...

WHY do I care what other people think?

WHY do I feel the need to impress people?

WHY do I stress about everything under the sun, even if there's NO possible way it could happen?

WHY do I stress so much?

WHY do I hate being criticized?

I can remember my first job. Denny's in Tuscola. My one year job evaluation was due. I was scared. SO scared. But why? I did my job to the best of my ability. I had trained more than one hostess that year. Doesn't make any sense to be scared or anxious for something like this. But I was.

Why can't I just take my accomplishments in life and be happy? Why do I feel like I need people to be okay with MY life? It's my life. I've done a lot to be proud of.

Now I just have to find my WHY!

October 6, 2017

Army Wife Life

Like most days while Kelly was gone, this day was no exception.

I stalked the family Facebook group and the companies Facebook page. Daily, hourly, non-stop.

I can't remember if he wrote and told me a guess of which day it would be or not. I just knew to watch closely that week.

The company commander would go live and show the future soldier's training. It was pretty cool. I can't imagine being in times where there was no technology and having a husband go through basic.

7:00 or 8:00 that night the Company went live to show the future soldiers becoming soldiers and officially graduating from basic. Kelly was in OSUT so he would stay at FLW after Basic. Most other Army jobs have a different basic training location and job school location. Kelly stayed at one the whole time.

Here's a video of the video of Kelly shaking the commander's hand via FB live.

Tears flowed that night!

Then about a week later, his letter signature changed to this: